Episode 287: Sexual Vitality
with Susan Bratton
Additional Information:
Register for Susan's Sexual Vitality summit here. Watch for FREE September 23 – September 30, 2019!
Sexual Soulmate Pact – 6 essentials for connection, by Susan Bratton
Orgasmic Fantastic Sex Date (for men!)- by Susan Bratton
CytoDetox: total detoxification support where it matters most – at the cellular level.
HCF's Live it to Lead it event – Newport Beach – November 14-17, 2019
Pre-order Dr. Pompa's Beyond Fasting book!
Join HCF's 50 Ways to Women's Wellness Summit – online and free Sept 9th – 15th! Register here.
Relationship expert, Susan Bratton is a champion and advocate for every person to receive the intimacy and connection that is our God-given right as a human being. But too often we lack the touch and connection we crave. On today's episode of CHTV, Susan will share healing touch techniques that support the detoxification systems and are soothing while fasting. This is an episode you won't want to miss!
More about Susan Bratton:
Susan Bratton is a beloved intimacy expert. Her wheelhouse is pleasure and connection. Author of more than 20 books, a TV celebrity, stage speaker, YouTube star and frequent podcast guest — she distills profoundly simple techniques that deepen intimacy and lower stress.
Transcript:
Dr. Pompa:
Have I talked about sex on Cell TV? No. Better put, love making. Look, this show, is it about all that. I have the world expert in this on this show. Look, this goes beyond it. We talk about hormone optimization via oxytocin, and how touch is something that is so [00:00:23] but you have no idea how this could be part of your recovery, but how this will change, obviously, your relationship.
I'll tell you one of the things I loved about this show is it's step-by-step on what we need to do to create this type of intimacy, this type of healing in our bodies. Wait till you see where it goes in the end. Yeah, we go into orgasms, I know, Cell TV, but you'll see. There's a science here, and there's a lot around it. It even set up a Part II. This one, I'm telling you, you're going to want to share this, but you have to watch it first. Wait till you see this show. Cell TV, see you then.
Ashley Smith:
Hello, everyone, welcome to Cellular TV. I'm Ashley Smith, and today our guest is relationship expert Susan Bratton who is a champion and advocate for every person to receive the intimacy and connection that is our God given right as a human being. Too often, we lack the touch and connection we crave.
On today's episode of CHTV, Susan will share healing touch techniques that support detox systems and are even very healing while fasting. These are very useful tips for this audience, indeed. Please check out our show notes to learn more about Susan and her books, programs, and her new online and free Sexual Vitality Summit, which premieres September 23rd. Let's get started, and welcome Susan Bratton and Dr. Pompa to the show. Welcome, both of you.
Dr. Pompa:
Awesome. Hey, I'm in the Sexual Vitality Summit, and gosh it's going to be great, honestly. Folks, this woman's a dynamo. You have no idea. She is a wealth of knowledge in an area that—I can say this, we have done, I don't know, how many—actually 280 some episodes on Cell TV.
Ashley Smith:
Yeah, almost a—
Dr. Pompa:
We have yet to discuss this important topic. I'm telling you, this goes into every aspect of health. I think we've all heard we need touch, we need—then we go, yeah, right. We really don't understand that impact, what that actually means. In our relationships, yes, our health, yes, our detox, yes. We're going to bring the science to it. We're going to bring, I think most importantly, an application to it because it's like okay, what do you mean by that?
We all would agree that humans need touch. I mean, it's been proven. There's been things that happen in people's lives where they didn't get human touch interaction. Literally, their life falls apart physically, emotionally, and spiritually obviously. We know. No one would argue with this, but number one, what does it mean? Number two, what impact does it really impact us and how? Number three, okay great, I want to do this, but how? All that's going to get answered. Susan, welcome to Cell TV.
Susan Bratton:
Thanks Dan, so happy to be here. When you and I have been talking about detoxification, I've really been thinking about how important touch is as a part of that process. I remember when I first started my detoxification journey, I wanted to get lymphatic drainage massages. I actually had a really hard time finding anyone who studied that deeply and could do that. I also have a very good relationship with my partner where he's willing to massage any part of me, any time, for as long as I need it. Most of the people in here—
Dr. Pompa:
Hold on, where's my wife? I don't want her to hear that. She's not around. She's not going to watch this episode now.
Susan Bratton:
I'm going to tell her.
Dr. Pompa:
Men are going, aaaah. Women are going aaaah. How long? As long as she wants? Okay, go ahead, sorry.
Susan Bratton:
I think foot rubs are one of the areas of foreplay for women that really help us too. It's funny when you think about touch. So often for us women, we can't even get in the mood until our feet don't hurt. We wear those crazy high heels. I just think it's one of those pieces.
Dr. Pompa:
Check number one, done right there. Don't let that one slide by, right? Okay, got it.
Susan Bratton:
It's definitely one of the ways to a woman's heart. Women, generally, like to be touched from the outside in. I have something I call my Bullseye Touch Technique. When you think about the difference between the masculine and feminine. You can be anywhere on the gender spectrum for this conversation.
Dr. Pompa:
Hold on. Did we mention that she is actually a sex expert? How many books have you written on that? Seriously.
Susan Bratton:
I just finished my 29th book.
Dr. Pompa:
The point is yes, we're talking healing, detox, and all these amazing things for health, which is super powerful. Sex is something we all need as humans. This woman literally is an expert. We hold her up as that. Anyways, I had to put that out there.
Susan Bratton:
Yeah, I like to think about myself, rather than being a sex expert, I like to think about myself as being an expert in love making and intimate connection.
Dr. Pompa:
That's why I didn't say it like that in the intro. We didn't want to say it that way. You used the words, so I put it on you.
Susan Bratton:
Yeah because I think there's a big difference between sex and making love. I think the holding and being held, one of the techniques I want to give you in this conversation is called the Soulmate Embrace. I want to tell you a little bit more about touch in some ways that I think about it because we have a masculine and a feminine. The masculine is testosterone forward. The feminine is estrogen forward.
Our brains are wired differently. The woman has a larger corpus callosum. She has more visual acuity than the man does, peripheral vision than the masculine does. Then you think about neurotransmitters, acetylcholine, GABA, etcetera, serotonin, dopamine. We have that as individual differences where I might be—I'm an acetylcholine forward neurotransmitter person. That colors my personality. You have those pieces of things about the differences between humans, people, individuals.
Then you layer on a thought process that is some people are more visual, some people are more auditory, and some people are very kinesthetic. You could be a serotonin testosterone kinesthetic or an estrogen dopamine visual. Then there are many other things, too, that factor into how you like to be touched, when you like to be touched, the way you like to be touched.
There are some generalities. I think the more that you understand the way that you like to be touched—for example, approach is another piece of it. Do you like it when your partner just leans right in to give you a kiss, or do you like it when they come from the right side, or the left side, or around behind you and grab you? You'd be surprised that if you ask any woman what she prefers, she could tell you the answer to that.
There are so many differences in the way some people like tickly, light, so light, and other people are like, “Oh, that would make me crazy. I like a deep long stroke.” Getting a good understanding of the kind of touch you like, so that you can ask for what you want, really helps your partner win in giving you that touch.
Another thing that is important to know is that there are four kinds of touch. Where a woman likes to be approached from the outside in, think about the bullseye touch, the outer ring, and then the middle ring, and then the inner ring, and then the bullseye. If the bullseye, in an intimate setting, is your most erogenous zones, the outer ring is your hair, your feet, your hands, then your arms, and your legs, and then maybe your back, and your belly, and then your neck, and then your mouth.
Dr. Pompa:
Is it the same with men? You said women like the outside in.
Susan Bratton:
Opposite.
Dr. Pompa:
Opposite.
Susan Bratton:
Men want you to go right for the erogenous zones. They want the instant—
Dr. Pompa:
Surprise surprise.
Susan Bratton:
The instant, what do I want to say, calming effect that knowing that you're going to get the touch you crave as a man, which is direct stimulation to the most erogenous zones. That calms him down and slows him down. It's funny that we're very different. Once people—and then you have to think about, was I attachment bonded, or not attachment bonded? Did I get the holding and love that I needed as a child, or am I shy touch because I haven't been touched enough?
There are many people who come to me and say, “I love to touch my partner, but they don't like me to touch them.” I say, “Okay, well, here's what you do.” Think about when—have you ever had a puppy that at first they would run away from you. They weren't a Golden Retriever. They were maybe a Shetland Sheepdog. They had that personality, which doesn't really like to be fussed with. A Golden Lab comes up and sits on your lap, and licks your face, and wants to be held, and would literally let you hold them like a baby. People are the same. People who haven't been securely attachment parented, and haven't been held well, they literally need you to slowly warm them up, and get them to realize how wonderful touch is. When someone doesn't like to be touched, that's simply that they haven't been touched in the ways that they need to be touched.
When you go back and you think about everything I just told you with regard to different personality types and how that fits into the way they like to be touched, then you go okay, so I need to find out that my partner likes to be approached from the right, and likes very soft touch, and wants to be touched from the outside in, and wants to be touched in specific ways, and specific places, and other places they don't like to be touched. That starts to get them more willing to open to the pleasure of touch. It's tough when you have a super kinesthetic touchy-feely partnered with a no touch. A touch-a-lotta and a touch-a-notta, so you have to bring them together.
Dr. Pompa:
One thing's for certain, according to the sciences, we all need touch. With that said, we can—you're giving us already a lot of tips. Hopefully you're writing them down, folks. Everybody needs it. Even if you're like, “I don't like to be touched,” let's be clear. You need to be touched, so you need a strategy. Let's back up a second, and let's talk about why. Why? We'll give more of these tips because you have so much here. This is so much. It could be a two-hour show. I'm going to have to have you on again. People don't even know that this is a missing component in their life, in their health. Yes, it affects relationships, but why do we crave this? How does it affect our biology?
Susan Bratton:
Yeah, I think that the number one thing that it does is it calms you. It makes you feel connected. You get a sensation of pleasure. You feel grounded. It generates oxytocin, which of course is the bonding molecule, the calming molecule.
Dr. Pompa:
Again, studies show oxytocin goes beyond that. Oxytocin plays an important role in brain health, healing. Oxytocin plays a role in anti-inflammation. This is all new that we realized, oh, it's not just the love hormone. It goes far beyond into physiology.
Susan Bratton:
Yeah, so I'd say that those are some of the biggest reasons that we need touch, our calming, security, secure attachment, pleasurable sensation. Ultimately, I think, when we're born, we're born in this package, this body of ours. In a way, we're alone. We are sovereign beings on this planet for the time that we're here, and because of that we crave connection to spirit, to sources, to God, to Gaia.
We crave that feeling that we're—there's something bigger than us that's holding us safely. The touch of another person is the first step in feeling that connection to others. We're not actually as alone as we might feel. I think that's part of it that is both grounding us to the earth and to other, as well as connecting us to the higher power of source and God. I think that's also an overlooked part of touch.
Dr. Pompa:
Yeah, interesting, okay so we need it physiologically. We need it spiritually. We need it emotionally. There's no denying that. There's these four types of touch that we need. There's different ways to break through. Where do we start? There's some people without a partner? What do those people do? I just have so many questions, I can't keep up with myself.
Susan Bratton:
That's okay. I can answer them all. The first thing is that—let me tell you what the four kinds of touch are. Think about the bullseye when you think about it this way. The outer ring is nurturing touch. What I'm really talking about here is the attention you have as you touch someone. In your mind, you're thinking about how you're going to touch them, and the ways you use your hands and your other parts to touch, your lips, or whatever it might be, the rest of your body, skin to skin contact.
You want to think about how you would do that if you were doing nurturing touch. Then the next is healing touch. Think about nurturing touch like you'd hold a baby, or you'd hold your partner in grief or sadness. Then think about the healing touch as being the kind of touch that makes your feet feel better after you've been wearing sexy shoes all day.
Dr. Pompa:
[00:15:41] lymphatic drainage.
Susan Bratton:
Yes, exactly, all the lymphatic drainage, working out the knots, whatever those things might be. You're actually in a fixing mode, in a solving mode. You're feeling your partner's body, and you're finding the things that need healing attention. Then the next kind—so we're getting closer in the ring, the next kind is sensual touch. Often, the masculine skips the sensual touch and goes right to the center of the bullseye, which is sexual touch.
For women, women require, the female, estrogen, estrogen-dominant human beings require the full range of that touch. They need you to hold them, and then work out the kinks, and then sensually awaken—awaken what I call her sensual grid. I'm going to come back to that in a minute because I'm going to tell you about the seventh sense. Awakening her sensual grid actually gets all of her body firing and feeling, which helps her both get out of her head because estrogen has its attention on everything where testosterone is very forward focused. It helps her get into her body.
Then as you're sensually touching her, it's relaxing her. Relaxation—most people think that arousal is I'm going to turn you on. I'm going to do things that get you going, that get you up, that get you grrrrr. The thing is you can't get arousal before you go through relaxation. Relaxation is the first stage of arousal. The sensual—the nurturing, and the healing, and then the sensual touch allows you to start to move up the arousal ladder. You've calmed, and now you're moving up. You're giving pleasure and sensation that is sensual, and makes you feel good, and gets you just connected with your partner again. Then you go to sexual touch, which is the stimulation required for heightened pleasure. I really like that—
Dr. Pompa:
You are—Susan is taking us through how to make love. I didn't tell you that that was going to happen, but you see what she's doing here. You'd better watch this with your partner. That's my advice. Anyways, okay, continue on.
Susan Bratton:
That's okay. Just share it with your partner. “Hey, I learned something. I realized I think I might need a lot more touch than you do. As a woman, I think I might need a lot more full-body touch than you do. I was wondering, the next time that we were together, if you could really spend a lot more time just touching my whole body because I learned this thing called the Seventh Sense.” I'll tell you what that is because it's interesting too.
You know how we have the five sense, and then we have the sixth sense, which is our intuition. The seventh sense has—by my friend, Sir Ken Robinson, been called proprioceptive touch. Proprioception are the cells that are all over your body that let your body know where you are in space. They know where—what's touching you where the pressure is. Is my shoe tight? Am I going to whack someone in the face if I do this or not? You know it tells you how far your arm goes out. It's what's figure skaters are really good at because they know exactly where they are in space as they twist, and they twirl. Gymnasts, they have high seventh sense.
A part of what you're doing when you're awakening that sensual grid is that by touching all those proprioceptive cells, you actually awaken and enliven them to feel more pleasure and connection with your partner. Proprioception is one of those funky little nerdy things that once you become aware of how important full-body touch is and also touching each other body to body, not just hand to body. Sliding, connecting, moving, writhing, really involving your entire body. When you're holding each other, rubbing your hands up and down each other as you're giving each other a kiss, things like that. They enliven that connection and make you feel so much more intimate with your partner. I think that's a nice distinction.
Dr. Pompa:
Yeah, all right, how does it apply? You brought this up. I mean, it applies to detox. The healing part I can see. Opening up lymphatic drainage, releasing toxins from a little deep tissue. Do these other types of touch help with detoxification and healing as well? I mean I can see that, but I want our viewers to understand that more.
Susan Bratton:
Yes, the more that you're able to move, to put pressure and sensation on the outer layers of your skin, the more you're actually moving the fluids under your skin. This brings me to my next technique, which is spongy and draggy. Now, a lot of times a person will—it takes time for partners to get good at touching each other in the way we each individual really like to be touched.
I've given you so many more words that you can use to describe to your partner the ways that you want to be touched, and the order in which you want things to be touched, and how full body really moves the energy through your system, and creates a level of vibrancy and flow that you don't have if you're not being touched in that way. Spongy draggy is funny. They're made-up words, but they're made up specifically for a reason. That is that when you're with a person, and this could be, by the way, if you're single and you do go to a massage therapist.
What I want you to do no matter whether you have a partner to touch you, or you're getting good regular massages from someone good, is to learn how to communicate your touch needs. A lot of times harder and softer isn't quite enough. I don't really want it harder, and I don't really want it softer. What I'm getting isn't what I exactly want. Maybe it's something like more spongy, more light, more on the surface of my skin, maybe something draggy where I want you to really push on my skin and push the subcutaneous tissue, so that I'm feeling this kind of spreading almost like a—a Swedish massage is a draggy massage. It's a massage that touches the skin and then pulls down and goes across like that.
Have more words to describe the sensations that you want. A lot of times partners will just rub on your skin. A man will rub a woman like this. That's not what she wants at all. She wants a slow, deep massage where he's actually touching her skin. He's not touching the outer layer of her skin. He has the intention of pressing below the skin and touching the tissue with some nice oil, touching the tissue below the skin, and really working that subcutaneous tissue. Working the meat, not the flesh, that's a good way to explain it to someone. Work the meat, not the flesh.
When you talk to your partner, teach them something that I call two option leading. As you're giving the touch techniques, you're saying, “Do you like it like this,” which I'm going to call harder, or “do you like it like this,” which I'm going to call softer. Then she doesn't have to think, do I want it harder, do I want a softer? She can just go, “Softer.” If you give her choices and options, she doesn't have to think about what she wants. She just has to notice what she likes or like and respond to you.
When you're touching a partner, what you want to do is you want them to stay in their body. Keep them out of their head, and enjoying, and focusing on the sensations that you were delivering. That's how she feels more pleasure, or he feels more pleasure is by not having to be in his rational brain or this alpha state or this beta state. Your beta is when you're awake and aware. Your alpha is your subconscious. Your theta state is your unconscious brainwave state. It's the same state as meditation.
When you're able to touch someone, and put them into a trance state, a deep meditative very relaxed state, when you're touching them, and you think about how you're touching them and you're connecting your energies together. You're taking over your partner's nervous system, and they're completely surrendering to you. You're touching them and you're taking them on this sensation ride of pure relaxation, nurturing, sensuality.
When you allow that to happen, you don't want to ask them what they want. You want to give them options. You want to give them two options and leave them because they're surrendered and you're the leader. When you get good at touching and being touched together, and you go back and forth, you give her, she gives you, whatever it might be. When you're doing that, you're actually entering and entering into a conjoined trance state where you two, together, are locked in feeling the two sides of the same coin of sensation. You're feeling the pleasure you're giving that person, and they're feeling the pleasure that they're receiving.
Then you're really locked into that connection; that relaxed, intimate connection; that deep, soulful connection together that's almost otherworldly. That’s spiritual sensuality, if you will. [00:26:37] like those ideas of it’s not hard and soft, it’s spongy and draggy.
Dr. Pompa:
Yeah, that would be like the ultimate oxytocin and hormone optimization right there. I mean, seriously, people don't understand that this is a big deal as far as you know, optimizing your hormone health. Oxytocin can be a big assist here. People are missing it big time. All right, what about touching for rapture, as you call it? How does that play in?
Susan Bratton:
Well that's a good lead-in when we talk about sensual spirituality, connecting in pleasure, relaxing and letting the world fall away, and calming down your nervous systems together. When you do that, there's a way that you could be up in your head. Let's say you're the giver. You're giving the touch, pleasure. You’re strategizing. You're thinking, “I’m going to do this? Then I'm going to do this. Then I'm going to do this.”
When you're doing that, when you're strategizing, you're not in a conjoined trance state taking your partner for a ride. You're in your beta state. You're thinking. You're looking ahead. You're up in your head again. You're not in your body. What's nice is—and that's a natural thing that men actually struggle with because you are the masculine sensual leader creating a safe frame for your partner to surrender to the pleasure that you're giving them in that moment, when you're the one in the giving.
In a way, you have to lead, but you have to begin to lead in a way that there's an immediate shift when you begin to do something called touching for rapture. You can touch your partner for effect, or you can touch your partner for rapture. The shift is very simple, and very profound, and really helps you get into that sensual spiritual connection. When you touch for effect you're touching—let's just say it's he's touching her. When he's touching her he's saying, “Okay, I'm going to rub her shoulders. I'm going to rub that knot out, and I'm just feeling that knot, and I'm pushing on that knot.”
Now, what if you did it where you touch? That's touching for effect. You're directing your mind to do the thing. What if you let all that go and you tune into her body at an entirely different level, at an at an emotional, vibrational, sensual, conjoined, meditative? Now, I'm not touching her body to get pleasure, to have pleasure. I’m touching her because the way that I'm touching her feels great to me. That's when you stop touching her to make her feel good, and you touch her because she feels so good under your hands.
Her body and her skin is so soft. She's a little bit fatter than you are and that gynoid fat layer feels nice to you. You're biologically wired to love those the little muffin tops on her hips, and her breast tissue, and her belly tissue. Men love the feeling of that. It's funny how much women worry about the fat padding on their body. If they understood how much men love it they would worry a lot less. They worry about cellulite, and testosterone has rose colored goggles. It doesn't even register for them. When you can just let yourself relax into taking your pleasure touching her, and you can let your body express that pleasure in ways through biofeedback where she can feel you feeling her.
Dr. Pompa:
Changes it, yeah.
Susan Bratton:
It changes it from “I'm in my head. I've got a plan. I'm strategizing,” to “She feels me feeling her,” and feeling the pleasure of you feeling her. She can feel you. Then when you start this cycle where she's feeling you feeling her, and you're feeling you feeling her feeling you, that's high
stakes sensual spirituality.
Dr. Pompa:
That makes sense. All right, you haven't talked about the Soulmate Embrace. How does that play into all of this? This is something you talk about.
Susan Bratton:
Everything that I told you are realizations that I've made over the last 15 years of helping. I've helped a lot of men rekindle the passion with their wives I wrote a program almost a decade ago called Revive Her Drive because I realized that because men are testosterone forward, they don't understand what women need.
A lot of what I've been talking to you about is what the feminine requires to really surrender to her pleasure, and to really feel deeply connected. A lot of times, couples don't hold each other enough or in ways that get them into a full oxytocin bloom. You don't touch someone and immediately start getting oxytocin, generating oxytocin. It takes a few minutes of constant connection to actually generate and increase your oxytocin levels together.
The Soulmate Embrace—and I'm giving you this as a gift. It's at soulmateembrace.com. I make it simple. The Soulmate Embrace is part of a book I wrote. I think it's probably one of my top selling books of all time, which is Sexual Soulmates: The Six Essentials to Connected Sex. It's a technique that was born from thinking over 15 years about what were the needle movers for couples? What were the things that people didn't know, that were super simple, that when they learned them they were like, “That just—it ignited our connection. It was so easy, and I never thought of it.” I love those little a-ha, sudden awareness, things I can do, that I can do immediately, that really changed my life.
The Soulmate Embrace is one of those things. The way that it works is it works on polarity. Often now, as a couple, and it doesn't matter what gender you are, but someone holds the masculine, and someone holds the feminine in the frame. We end up—women become masculine because we're CEOs and we're out the work world. When we come back to the connection with our partner we want to reignite the masculine feminine balance together.
We want to surrender to our feminine. One of the best ways to help a woman who's been out in the warrior world come back to her feminine, is for her masculine to hold her in the following way. You put on cotton pajamas. You lie down on your bed. You, as the masculine, Dan, you're going to hold your arm open and she's going—can I say Merilee? I can say your wife's name?
Dr. Pompa:
Yeah, sure.
Susan Bratton:
Okay, great. Merilee is going to lie full body next to you and she's going to put her head either on your shoulder or you're going to put a pillow right there, and she's going to rest in your arms. She's going to be turned toward you, and you're going to be turned toward her. You're going to put your hand on her sacrum on her lower back. You're going to hold her there just to start. You're going to start by breathing deeply together. You have to remember that your lungs are bigger than hers, so you're going to breathe a little more shallowly for her. You're going to ask her to follow your breathing. You're going to lead her in deep breathing that's just the right tempo for her lungs. You're going to get her breathing. You're just going to hold her. You're going to look in her eyes, but then you're just going to let each other rest.
What's going to happen is as you hold her then, there will be a moment where you'll want to adjust. Maybe it'll feel better to her to hold her up higher, or hold her a little lower, so you can move as you're doing this. It's really that you are holding her securely. As you feel her relax, she's going to start to let down and relax. That's your signal to pull her just a little bit tighter because what most people do is when she's – oh, she’s relaxed I'm going to let go now. You're not going to let go. What you'll find is that some things are going to come up for her emotionally. She's going to need to say a few things and express some emotions she's been holding. You're just going to, “Thank you, baby. What else?”
Dr. Pompa:
You see, men, we don't even understand that would be like. Where's that coming from right now? If you didn't expect that I could start a fight. It could end the whole thing.
Susan Bratton:
What's nice is because you're ready for it, and you're encouraging her, you literally need to hold her until that comes up for her. Then she expresses, and that lets it out. Then she relaxes again. Then you hold her a little more closely. You can move and be comfortable, but now you're going to want to squeeze her a little. She's going to want to press her body against yours. What the pressing and the squeezing, the squeeze and then release, the press and then release does is that it relaxes all the musculature in her body. It's one more level of deep relaxation.
At that point, she's going—I always joke that when she starts drooling you know you've done a good job because when your mouth waters it's a sign of arousal. It's actually—your body starts to get fluidy when you've crested from relaxation into arousal. She might even cry a little in some of the letting go. That's a release for her. What you've been doing is you've been releasing her, releasing her, releasing her in different ways, and squeeze.
Dr. Pompa:
By the way, that's detox right there. From the very start of cellular detox. I would argue, I mean, that just sets it off.
Susan Bratton:
Thank you, it does.
Dr. Pompa:
Trapped emotions are at the cellular level.
Susan Bratton:
Of course they are, yes. Then what you want to do is you want to start after you can feel that she's kind of really got relaxed. You want to start stroking her hair if she likes that, most women do. Stroking her hair, you look at her you want to look her in the eye. You really want to make a little eye contact with her now because what that's doing is that's alpha-male right there. Eye contact, holding her eye contact is “I've got you baby, I got you.” Right, you’ve got her.
Dr. Pompa:
They feel secure.
Susan Bratton:
Oh, every woman who's watching us right now is like “I want that so badly.” Then you can start moving your hands on her body and giving her that what she likes. Does she like surface touch, or does she like it a little deeper. Does she like it tickly, or does she like it [00:38:24]?
Now you're starting to move her energy and move her body. When you move her body, you move her emotions. When you move her emotions, you create intimate connection. Now you're just stroking her body. Then at one point she's going to pop up. She's going to be like a whole new woman. She's going to be so connected to you and so excited by you. All of a sudden you're her man.
You just made her feel so relaxed that I want you to start kissing her. Kiss her forehead. Kiss her eyelids. Close your eyes, baby, I want to kiss your eyelids. Kiss her cheeks. Just peck, peck, peck her lips. Kiss her neck, and then her collarbones. Then go into wherever you go from there, whatever is right for you as a couple.
That relaxation to arousal is exactly what a woman needs to do to get out of her estrogen crazy monkey mind into her body. It sets the polarity. It resets her nervous system and allows you to have the most deep and loving connection you've ever had. That's the Soulmate Embrace. I'll just say one last thing about it.
The way I wrote this little bitty e-book is I wrote it so that you can read it and give it to a guy. It's actually step by step by step because the way the male mind works, because it's forward momentum, it likes all the steps. It wants to know what I do, and then what I do, and then what I do. There you go.
Dr. Pompa:
Is that the gift you're giving us then? We’re going to put that in here?
Okay good, yeah, so—because the men are out there like their notes are all scratched up, and I hope I got this right. You're right. Yeah, it's like I want the steps, yeah. My next question was [00:40:18] how do we start? Seriously though, here's the question. We're all lost in our day and doing this thing. This happens more and more and more. You're moving in this direction. You don't even realize it. Where do you start? It's like you come home and all of a sudden you're touching me. What are you doing? It's like, oh, you want sex. I know this game. Give us some tips on where to start. Right guys, am I right here? I hope so. Women that are watching, tell your guys, “Start here, honey.” Anyways, where do we start?
Susan Bratton:
I think if you do the Soulmate Embrace every day or so, and it didn't have to lead to anything more, it's a standalone experience. It allows her to take it to the next level if she wants. Then instead of it being a foreplay technique where you're doing it to get, it becomes a giving with no reciprocity required, which allows her to have as much of it. You literally need to fill her up with this before she's going to want to take it to the next level. Also, I've talked to many women who've said to me, “It took me four or five times to do the Soulmate Embrace.
Dr. Pompa:
My advice to men who are listening, and this is the man speaking now, is the first one or two times do not do it with the expectation of making love, having sex. Don't do it with that. Do it with the expectation of—if you want forward in selfish do it the expectation of getting some great oxytocin for your health. Okay, there's a good first step. With the expectation of a sexual outcome, they're going to sense it. Women, they’re intuitive. They're going to know. It could be like he's doing this to get that for him. Do it for her. If you want to make it selfish, do it for the health of both of you. Anyways that's my advice.
Susan Bratton:
There's also—I wrote a book called The Passion Patch: The One Place to Touch Her to Arouse Her in 30 Seconds Flat. I wrote that as copy for men because that's what men want. They’re zero to sixty, straight ahead, boom, boom, boom. They want to get to the endgame, the goal, and so that appeals to them. What the book actually teaches is stealth touch techniques because so often your partner is—the minute you touch her she's like, “uh, I know what he wants,” and so you end up never touching each other. She is never touching you because she doesn’t want to send you a signal. When you touch her, she shies away from it.
I have about a dozen different—because women like to be touched in different places. I'll give you a couple of examples. One of them is something I call the catch and release touch. That's where you go up to your woman and you start to understand does she like you from the right, the left, or the front or the back? You can even ask her, “When I approach you to give you a hug, which direction do you want me to come from? Do you want to test it and see what you like best?”
Some women are very specific about the only one they like, or they don't want that straight on thing. It’s too much for them. They don't want you coming up behind them because it'll freak them out. Everybody's totally different. You have to know what you like. Then go up to her in her direction. You hold her, and you squeeze her, and you give her a peck, and you let her go. This is kind of the opposite of Soulmate Embrace where you take your time. This is the catch and release so that she doesn't shy away from you coming up to touch her all the time. It calms her down to know that that's the end of the touch. That’s one.
Another one that I think is really nice is every time you two are walking through a door, you get the door. You go ahead of her and say to her—if she doesn't let you she's always opening the door. Say, “Give me a chance to get in front of you. Just walk more slowly. I want to get every door for you. From now on, let me get the door. I like to get the door for you. It makes me feel like a man. Give this to me.” Then you pop in front of her you're ready for doors coming. You're walking a little faster. She's slowing down. You get to the door. You open it, and push your hand on her sacrum, and guide her through the door. That touch on her lower back grounds her and connects her to you.
Here's a third one. There's plenty more, but the third one is you're in the car. You put your hand—you're driving, most likely. You put your hand on her leg on her thigh. You just press, and give her a little squeeze, or just lie there lightly. You just tell her, “I love you,” and that's a touch. All of these things are grounding touches that she needs to feel closer to you.
Dr. Pompa:
I can do all those. I love that. That's great. That answered the question, though. I said, “Where do you start?” I think that you start there. Like you said, there's more. Look folks, if you don't sign up for the Sexual Vitality Summit, you're nuts, man. I'm serious because you see this information. This is big stuff. I want to do a part two because I feel like we've opened up the door now with part one to go somewhere where—I don't know. I don't even know if I would go on this show, but now I feel safe to go there.
The second part is the importance of orgasms and all that. It's like, oh my God, on cell TV, eye touch science. It’s like we’re talking about—I feel like after this show, so many people have a little dysfunction here. It's such an important part of life. I think we got—Ashley Smith, you might want to come on right now. I think we just should have that show because I think it's a really important part of health. I'm pulling Ashley Smith into this conversation because she's another female. Ashley, what do you think?
Our viewers, I think they need the second part of this. It wasn't planned. We didn't talk about it, but I've had these conversations. I’ve had these conversations with Susan. I always say gosh, my boys need to hear this. I'm telling all our viewers need to hear this. I know it's not a sexual show. It goes far beyond that. It's one of these components of health that nobody really wants to talk about. What's your feeling on that Ashley?
Ashley Smith:
Absolutely, I mean sexual health is a part of health and holistic health, particularly. I think being able to talk about it as well is important. I think a lot of people fear even talking about it or telling their partners what they want. I think it's—getting over the shame of it, I think, is really important.
Dr. Pompa:
Yeah I know, and how many people are going yeah, no one ever taught me that. I just say you gave those three quick tips. You're an expert here. How many more tips can we get people to take what's so important in their relationship to another level? Yet no one talks about it. Again, I think, Susan, it'll lead to a lot of your other information. I think people need [00:47:57]. I think another show will do that. All right, so can we have you on for a second interview?
Susan Bratton:
Of course you can. For the master class that is part of the Sexual Vitality Summit, I did two videos. I did one conversation with [00:48:17] about anorgasmia, when people have difficulty or a complete inability to achieve climax and what you can do about it. Then I recorded two video shows, The 14 Types of Male Orgasm and The 16 Types of Female Orgasm. All the guys are going to—all the guys say, “Ha, she got two more than me. How do I get 14? I thought I got one.” It's quite an interesting conversation just to talk about orgasmic potential and understand all the different types of orgasmic experiences one's body can have. Once you know what you're going for, it's a lot easier to get there.
Dr. Pompa:
No doubt you have to have a target. That's the next show, and we’ll promote the master class. I mean, let's promote, people, but we have to get people there. I think another show can absolutely do that. I'm just sitting here thinking we have—so many of our viewers are health seekers. They're sick, they’re looking for – I was just thinking, when I was sick and going through my battle, how much healing I would have gotten from sex. You're thinking, “I just don't have the energy.”
Starting where you have started people, I think could give you the energy to take the next step and take the next step. I was just thinking gosh, this is something that's like I’m sick, I can't do that, or I don't have time for that, or the energy for that, or I don’t have the mindset for that. I think you need to make this a part of your healing journey. I do. If I would go back into my human journey, it'd be something that I would have taken a lot more serious, but I just didn't know. I'm not going to make that mistake for our health seekers.
This is something you need for your health, something you need for your relationships. I think that's obvious. I think what's not obvious is that this is something needed for your recovery. It's something that I don't think anybody is talking about it, what an orgasm, what touch can do. We talked about touch on this show, but taking it to the next level, what that can do for your recovery, is just this hidden gem.
Susan Bratton:
I'd like to give your viewers and listeners one more gift. It's called the Magic Pill Method. I'll make sure you get a link to it. It's a free gift. It's part of the Sexual Vitality Summit. What I realized, in talking to thousands of people, and researching what it was that held people back physically and emotionally from the intimacy and connection that they craved and deserved. What was it when you had illness or what have you?
Many people—what I found in my study, is that when a person becomes ill they get—if they have an issue, it could be vaginal pain, it could be erectile dysfunction, it could be a chronic inflammation, it could be diabetes, or any number of things, lupus, inflammatory disease, anything including very common betrayal emotional traumas that stop people dead in their tracks. They don't know how to solve it. They just stop having intimacy.
I realized that I had hundreds and hundreds of people send me their “what it was” that prevented them from having the intimacy that they used to have, or that they wanted to have, and I thought to myself, well, I could fix that, well, I could fix that, I could fix that. I laid in bed for a couple of nights because I do my best thinking [00:52:05] sleep. I said to myself, “How do I solve this problem? How do I take care of everyone? There's not enough time in the day for me to give every single person individual advice. What can I do?”
I realized—I woke up one morning and I said, “A-ha, I know what it is.” I need to give people a structure for having a conversation with their partner that looks like, “We're safe. I'm afraid of these things. It used to be like this, and now it's like this, but maybe we could get it like this again.” There's a lot of things you can do to fix and compromise and work around almost any health or emotional and physical health issue, especially if you have someone willing to support you in finding the solutions.
I wrote this little technique, and exactly how to do it, that helps you and your partner finally talk about the thing that nobody has been—the elephant in the room that you've not been talking about when you know you're both sad and missing each other, and what you can do to actually get to a solution and back to the connection? If it looks different than it used to, what's it going to look like? It might look different, but it's going to look a heck of a lot better than nothing. That's the Magic Pill Method. It’s actually a safe way. Partners just don't talk about it. I'll give you the link to that too.
Dr. Pompa:
I'd say that's a great gift for our viewers. Honestly, I think that's going to help a lot of people, thank you. Thank you, Susan. I just appreciate your work. I really learned everything you've done for humanity. Thanks for being on Cell TV. Thank you for coming back. We're taking it to another level. Everyone's going to be like, “When's part two?”
Susan Bratton:
I look forward.
Dr. Pompa:
All right, I appreciate it. We will talk soon I'm sure I'll see at the next seminar.
Ashley Smith:
That's it for this week. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. This episode was brought to you by CytoDetox. Please check it out at buycytonow.com. We'll be back next week and every Friday at 10 am. Eastern. We truly appreciate your support. You can always find us at cellularhealing.tv. Please remember to spread the love by liking, subscribing, giving an iTunes review, and sharing the show with anyone you think may benefit from the information heard here. As always, thanks for listening
